How to be 30 and Single

When you’re single in your 20s, it’s assumed that you’re having the time of your life and in no mood to settle down.  When you’re single at 30, it’s assumed that the world is no longer your oyster, you’ve begun collecting cats and spend your time staring off into the abyss waiting and hoping for a potential mate to come along.

I’m here to tell you that being 30 and single is not the end of the world. In fact, it can be, dare I say it…enjoyable.  Like everything in life, there are good parts and bad parts about being single at this age. The bad parts are things like being stuck at the kid’s table for Thanksgiving dinner; the good parts being enjoying ample free time, meeting new people and sprawling across your bed with ALL of the covers.

While I’m certainly not the authority or a certified expert on how to be single (it’s different for everyone), I have enough experience to know what works for me.  So, here are my three best suggestions on how to make the most of it:

Be prepared for The Questions

Yes, The Questions can be annoying and frustrating.  It seems that everyone wants to know the answer to the million dollar question – Why/How are you single? This is inevitably followed up by the asker listing a litany of reasons why you shouldn’t be single – you’re attractive, you’re intelligent, you’re fun, etc.  People may think they’re being helpful or flattering when listing these reasons but sometimes it can leave you later saying to yourself “Yeah, why the hell am I still single? What’s wrong with me? What am I doing wrong?” when really, you haven’t done anything wrong.  You’re just not in a relationship right now. Point blank.

My advice is to take these questions in stride.  It may seem odd but I find having a stock answer helps.  I tend to go with “I haven’t found the right guy yet but he’s out there.  I’m enjoying myself in the meantime.” That response usually shuts down the questions (and the pity party) and hopefully allows you to change the subject to another topic, if you’d like.  I try to remind myself that, depending on the setting, I may be one of only a few single people in attendance, and being different will inevitably make people curious and want to ask questions.


Enjoy It

So often the “single” label is looked upon with pity, disdain and as a problem that needs to be fixed.  But there is another side to being single that needs to be talked about – the side that I like to call Do Whatever The F**K You Want.  Want to spend the day at the beach reading celebrity gossip magazines? Go for it. Want to listen to your favorite songs as loud as possible and have a dance party in your apartment on a Tuesday? I feel you, and I raise my glass of wine to you.

The joy and freedom that come with being single should never be overlooked or taken for granted.  Use this time to do the things that you want to do, things that you may not have the time, energy or money to do a few years down the road.  Pick up new hobbies, read more books, spend time with friends and family or work on yourself. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good.  Being single isn’t a prison sentence that needs to be served.  It’s an opportunity to expand your life.


Love Yourself

In the immortal words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?”  I know, I know.  It all sounds cheesy but it actually is true – we accept the love we think we deserve and we attract people who mirror how we feel about ourselves.

You may not have a partner at the moment but you have yourself, and really, that’s the only person you can be certain you’ll ever have in this life.  You don’t need to wait for another person to come along to make you feel worthy of being loved. Treat yourself well and take care of yourself in the ways you want to be treated, and you’ll find that you’re ready and able to accept the love of a great partner heading your way.

*Photo Credit: thesinglewomansguide.com

5 Actual Reasons Why Women Wear Makeup

Women have been “putting their faces on” seemingly since the dawn of time.  But why do we do it?  Do we just enjoy spending our hard-earned money on products that will literally be flushed down the drain a few hours later?  Do we paint our faces to attract other people?  Or is makeup really just a mask we hide behind? I believe there are five main, no BS reasons why women (or at least this woman) wear makeup.

  1. It’s fun.

Let’s just get this out of the way first.  Makeup is fun.  Sometimes makeup is seen as v. serious business, but really, we’re putting shit on our faces and then washing it down the drain hours later.  You know how kids smear dirt and markers and basically anything they can get their hands on onto their face?  They do that because it’s fun, because they’re playing.  Makeup is no different.  Makeup allows you to have fun changing up your look, to be a chameleon.  Makeup spurs experimentation, creativity and in the most basic sense, playing around with ~*~gLiTter~*~ and pretty colors is straight up fun.

  1. It can make the face look better.

Can’t really argue with this one, especially for those of you who, like me, aren’t exactly 17 anymore.  Eyes do look more open and awake with a coat of mascara.  Groomed and filled-in brows do frame the face. Makeup can bring out the best version of “you” that you see in your head.  Not all of us are blessed with (or can pay for *ahem, Kylie Jenner*) full lips.  But most of us can afford a $4 nude lip liner from CVS that can make lips look fuller, more luscious, and let’s just say it, more youthful.  Still don’t believe me? Ask any woman who regularly wears makeup how many times some assclown in Accounting has made a “Whoa, are you sick?  You look tired.” comment when she boldly decides to sleep in not wear eye makeup to work.  Which brings me to my next point…

  1. Because we want to. Because we can.

In my experience, men tend to think that women wear makeup to impress or attract them.  All I can say to that is L O mother f-ing L.  Do men really think that women spend 10 minutes precisely blending three different eyeshadow colors to impress dudes who can’t tell the difference between navy and black?  FOH.  People who wear makeup wear it because they want to.  Because it makes them feel good.  I’ve yet to wake up in the morning with someone holding a gun to my head and forcing me to put on eyeliner (decent movie premise, though). Makeup is simply another form of self-expression.

  1. Makeup hides a multitude of sins

Let’s say you got After. It. last night.  Maybe you went to a beautiful wedding and danced until the wee hours and now have bags under your eyes large enough to carry a vacation’s worth of luggage.  Maybe you had an evening Netflix marathon session and plowed through a bottle (and a half) of wine and don’t want to look like death warmed over for your 9:00am meeting.  No worries!  Makeup is there for you.  Makeup can brighten tired eyes, hide a monstrous pimple or disguise a hickey (no judgement, do you) in seconds and with just a few products.  That is true magic.

  1. It’s a meditative experience

Putting on makeup each morning can be sacred Me Time.  There is something about the repetitive motions, the colors and the attention to detail that can be downright meditative and soothing.  For me, it’s a quiet creative outlet that gives me valuable time to mentally set my intention for the day ahead.  Plus, finishing your face gives you a sense of accomplishment knowing that you’ve already completed at least one task for the day, with the bonus that you now look amazing and ready for anything.

Now that you know why makeup is worn, my intention with this blog is to help you get the most out of it.  Looking your best helps you feel your best.  Seriously.  No BS.