Tips for Maintaining Dyed Blonde Hair

I am not, and never will be, a natural blonde. Everyone knows blondes have more fun and if you know me personally, you know that one of my main priorities in life is having fun at all times.  Thanks to science and bleach, I’ve been having my hair dyed and highlighted blonde for a good 15 years and I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever go back to my natural brunette color.  Blonde just suits me.

However, anyone who regularly colors their hair knows that the process can be expensive, time consuming and very harsh on your hair.  Thankfully, there are a few easy tips and products you can use to maintain bleached/dyed blonde hair and stretch out your money and time between trips to the salon:

  1. Stay near your natural color

This one kind of goes without saying, but, trying to go platinum blonde if you naturally have jet black hair is going to be a very long, very expensive, and probably physically painful process.  We’re talking about bleach here.  That shit does NOT play around and can sting like a thousand wasps are burrowing into your scalp.

curls

My natural color is a fairly light brown so I stick to a honey-colored blonde dye with a half-head of bleach (platinum) highlights thrown in every 3 or 4 months.  Every six weeks I have only the new growth (roots) touched up with the dye and that helps keep the rest of my hair from being colored/damaged more than it needs to be.  Which brings me to my next point…

  1. Condition. Deep condition.

aussie

Bleach and dye are incredibly drying and damaging to the hair. That’s just the way it goes.  You can help slow and repair that damage with weekly deep conditioning treatments.  My absolute favorite is the Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Deep Conditioners.  The bottle says to leave it on for three minutes but I’m a “Go big or go home” kind of person so I typically apply this conditioner post-shampoo, throw a raggedy shower cap over it (sexy!) and let it sit for an hour while I rot my brain with the latest episode of Real Housewives of NYC.

10

Another conditioning product I love and use religiously is the It’s a 10 Blonde Miracle Leave-In Treatment.  This leave-in smells great, protects your hair during heat styling, detangles, enhances shine and helps keep color treated blonde from turning orange and brassy.  This stuff is legit.

  1. Use a purple shampoo

Another ally in the fight against brassiness, purple shampoo helps balance the yellow tones in blonde hair to make them brighter.  John Freida makes a good purple shampoo but I’m cheap and buy the generic Clairol Shimmering Lights Shampoo online or from Sally’s.

purple
Photo credit: thethriftygirlsguide.com

As you can see, this shampoo is extremely purple so a little goes a long way.  If you use it too often or leave it on too long it can actually give your hair a purple tinge.  If that’s your thing, rock on.  If not, only use it once or twice a week.

  1. Don’t wash your hair so often

batiste
Photo credit: berenicebeauty.wordpress.com

This is a tip for really anyone but especially for us bleach blondes.  Unless you’re getting crazy sweaty, there’s no need to wash your hair daily.  Washing every day strips your scalp of its natural oils and when you’re dehydrating your hair with bleach and color, you need all the moisture you can get.  It may take your hair and scalp some time to get used to not being washed every day, but you hair will thank you once it adjusts.  Plus, color won’t fade as fast when you’re not stripping it with shampoo chemicals every day.  Get some dry shampoo (Batiste is my hands-down favorite) and learn to embrace the natural body and shine slightly dirty hair can give you.

Hope this helps all of my other faux-Marilyn Monroe’s out there!

Beauty Tips for When You’ve Been…Overserved

Well, isn’t this just the worst.  You, my friend, have been overserved.  You have a hangover.

Your mouth tastes like (and somehow has the texture of) an old rug soaked in beer.  Your head is bumpin’.  That jerk of a sun is up and you gotta be, too. You likely feel AND look terrible but you’re required to interact with other humans today and want to look less undead.  I’m no miracle worker, but here are some makeup and beauty tips to help lessen the damage:

  1. Shower
    For the love of God, shower. A good drinking session has the power to leave you waking up smelling like a rotting muskrat covered in Doritos so, wash up.  Bonus: The water will wake you up and make you feel better because it is a 100% proven fact that showers help ease the pain of hangovers (based on personal research).  Wash off any remaining makeup from the night before and get that blood pumpin’.
  1. Perfume/Cologne
    Perfume is needed because, well, see above. Now you don’t want to go overboard with this step because an overserved nose is highly susceptible to any smells which can increase the lovely nausea you’re trying to shake.  Stick with a clean, fresh, not too overpowering scent.  This is no time for anything flowery or musky.  We’re just trying to lessen the stank emanating from your body.
  2. Moisturize
    You may think this is the perfect time to just throw every makeup product you own on your face in an attempt to cover the half-dead corpse decaying within and call it a day.  You would be wrong. The first and most important thing you need to do is moisturize!Alcohol dries out the skin something fierce so slather moisturizer on your face (and body, if you can stand up that long) to plump up the skin.  The rubbing motions will get the blood flowing and also help drain the puffiness from under your eyes.

    For extra de-puff power, throw a couple spoons in the freezer for a few minutes.  Once they’re nice and cold, place the spoons over your eyes, lie down for 5 minutes and contemplate why you ever even attempt to drink tequila.

  1. Makeup
    You’re struggling to put sentences together so there’s no way you’re putting on a full face today. Thankfully, just a few products can make a big difference.Use a BB cream or tinted moisturizer as your base.  Don’t waste time with foundation or powder today, you need the hydration and smoothing benefits of a BB cream. Next, skip the eyeshadow.  Dark colors can weigh those tired eyes down even more and make you look worse, so stick to just a bit of eyeliner and lots of mascara to open up the eyes.  Finish up with a glossy or bright lip to fake a fresh-faced look.

    Pro Tip: Use a flesh-colored eyeliner on your lower waterline to cancel out the redness and make eyes look whiter, brighter and less, well, hungover.

  1. Hair
    Let’s be frank – your hair probably looks pretty horrific.  No worries!  Pull that hair up in a high ballerina-style bun.  This serves two crucial functions – you look polished and put together, plus you get a mini face lift. Win.

Now go forth and conquer this day!  (And by “conquer” I mean drag yourself out the door and begin counting down the seconds until you can reunite with your bed.)